


Kids Say the Darndest Things

by redconfession



Series: Ben Reilly: Spider-Man [2]
Category: Marvel (Comics), Scarlet Spider (Comics), Spider-Man (Comicverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Brothers, Clones, Combination of 616 and MC2 elements, Family, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Sibling Bonding, Slice of Life, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:01:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27110869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redconfession/pseuds/redconfession
Summary: The Parker's and the Reilly's have a nice, rare night in until it's interrupted by family secrets begging to come to light.---“You lied to me.”Peter couldn’t have looked more confused. “Wha, huh? What did I do?”“How come you only told me about Uncle Ben?” May pointed at Ben for emphasis. Ben didn’t like where this was going. He glanced back towards the living room and saw Reilly standing by the island, his red hair all mussed like it usually defaulted to despite Ben’s best efforts to tame it, clutching his Spider-Man figure. He seemed just as angry as May, but he was going to gather it was for a different reason.“Mayday, sweetie, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Peter said, but shifted uneasily, shooting Ben what he only could imagine was a glare. Ben looked back at Reilly.“I don’t want a hobo uncle! They smell gross!” yelled May, stomping her foot as she yelled.Aw crap. Mary Jane and Peter were bothdefinitelyglaring at him now. He took a step back towards his son.“Reilly, what did you do?” This was clearly father of the year parenting, deflecting this back on a 5-year-old.
Relationships: Kaine (Spider-Man) & Ben Reilly, Kaine (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Kaine (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker & Ben Reilly, May "Mayday" Parker & Reilly Tyne, Peter Parker & Ben Reilly, Peter Parker/Mary Jane Watson
Series: Ben Reilly: Spider-Man [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971631
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	Kids Say the Darndest Things

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a series of interconnected stories of a world where Ben Reilly never died at the end of the Clone Saga, and so continued on as Spider-Man as originally intended. Some elements of the MC2 are mixed in because the MC2 is criminally underrated. I hope you like it!

The sounds of some cartoon played quietly in the living room as Ben, Peter, and Mary Jane talked in the kitchen. Once upon a time, when Reilly was younger, certain cartoons grated on Ben’s nerves (of course, all the ones that Reilly seemed to love), but he had long ago discovered the ancient parenting secret of “tuning it out,” so he had no idea what was even on. He knew what station was on and that they wouldn’t play anything inappropriate (at least, not until way after Reilly’s bedtime), so he didn’t worry too much about that.

Besides, he was much more interested in the argument occurring between their children. It appeared that coloring was no longer holding their interest, and so Reilly had pulled out his action figure collection for them to play with. May had gone along with it... until Reilly had declared Spider-Man was “his.” May didn’t seem to be taking that too well, and the two were gradually raising their voices that they were the only one that could play with Spider-Man. Ben looked over at Peter and Mary Jane, who both looked as amused at this revelation as he was sure he did. The kids weren’t really angry, just that indignant anger that came from the incomprehension that someone else might want something that was “theirs” and so the parents just let them argue. They both knew what tone to listen for, and the second either child crossed the line would be the end of that.

“I swear, sometimes I think May knows,” said Mary Jane, taking a sip of her drink. She was leaning against the counter and kept glancing into the living room at the arguing children. “Does Reilly...?”

Ben followed her gaze. “No. Sometimes I swear he does, but I’ve been careful. I won’t even leave a spare costume here... I know he’d find it. He’s got this knack of finding anything you don’t want him to.”

“I think that’s just a superpower all children possess. May somehow found her Christmas presents last year. Yeah... that was fun.”

The look Mary Jane gave Peter told Ben all he needed to know about that story.

“I said I was sorry! How was I supposed to know May would check in the toolbox in the garage?”

Mary Jane patted Peter on the arm. “I know. And we got it all sorted out. It was just an example, tiger.”

Peter seemed less than comforted. Ben reached over and ruffled his brother’s hair. It was getting long for Peter (though Ben had grown his longer), with bangs that were threatening to go into his eyes. Ben was surprised that Mary Jane had let him grow it out that long, but he guessed so long as Peter looked presentable it didn’t matter.

The noise in the living room subsided, replaced by the two children acting out some sort of heroes and villains scenario with their action figures; they had solved their differences without adult intervention. Ben strained to listen to what the two were saying, curiosity driving him to find out which of the two had won the battle over who got to be Spider-Man, but then Mary Jane spoke and his concentration was lost.

“So have you seen Janine, er... Elizabeth since the good news?”

“She’s probably going to go by Janine again. She told me that when she got to be Janine Godbe, she felt more like herself than she ever was as Elizabeth Tyne. She’ll still keep Elizabeth for legal reasons, but... I’m offtopic, aren’t I?” Ben smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, I have. I can’t even begin to describe how happy she is that she made parole. Honestly, I don’t even think she believed it, even though Matt and I told her she would from the beginning.”

“I’m so happy for her. I can’t wait to meet her.”

“Me too.”

“How is Matt?” asked Peter

“Good. He’s been keeping himself busy, same as always. You know him.”

Peter looked away, in the opposite direction of the living room. He was trying to hide his expression, but Ben caught it. Ben knew how much Peter missed putting on the costume, even though his life had become a million times better without it. He was all too familiar with that feeling, that you _were_ something and then suddenly you weren’t. At least Peter had support and a backup plan; Ben had had nothing. Still, support or no, it really didn’t cushion that blow that you could no longer soar through the air whenever you wanted, or get that ever-fleeting, incredible feeling that you actually made a difference. Peter was still making a difference working at Garid (Galannan Alternative Research for Immunization Development), developing vaccines which had saved thousands, but there was that invisible wall that kept him from seeing the person he helped directly, to see their relief when they realized that everything would be all right.

Plus, even Ben’s scientifically-oriented mind had to agree that punching things in the face had a sort of cathartic release that discovering lifesaving chemicals couldn’t match.

Peter’s struggles with putting down the mask for good were very real, and one Ben was all too familiar with. He’d spent more than one night up talking to his “older brother,” trying to remind him that he no longer had powers and that his family needed him to _not_ be Portland’s Spider-Man. This was usually undercut by Ben telling Peter this while swinging across the New York skyline, or battling the Rhino, or any number of Spider-Man-related things, but Ben did his best, usually talking about how he dealt during his five “Lost Years” in exile. The talks might have helped, but Ben making Peter ship him his remaining costumes probably helped more. It took the temptation away.

“He said he’s coming to the party next week so you two can catch up,” said Ben, trying to raise his brother’s spirits.

“Yeah, maybe I will.”

That was one crisis avoided, but if there was one thing the Parkers were all too familiar with, it was that crisis’ never stopped with just one. No more than 5 minutes later, May walked into the kitchen, her little face contorted into a look of anger. She marched right up to Peter and stared up so she looked him dead in the eye. In her hand was a Spider-Man figure, but not Reilly’s favorite. It was his _other_ Spider-Man figure... the one sporting Peter’s design. Maybe these kids _did_ know.

“You lied to me.”

Peter couldn’t have looked more confused. “Wha, huh? What did I do?”

“How come you only told me about Uncle Ben?” May pointed at Ben for emphasis. Ben didn’t like where this was going. He glanced back towards the living room and saw Reilly standing by the island, his red hair all mussed like it usually defaulted to despite Ben’s best efforts to tame it, clutching his Spider-Man figure. He seemed just as angry as May, but he was going to gather it was for a different reason.

“Mayday, sweetie, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Peter said, but shifted uneasily, shooting Ben what he only could imagine was a glare. Ben looked back at Reilly.

“I don’t want a hobo uncle! They smell gross!” yelled May, stomping her foot as she yelled.

Aw crap. Mary Jane and Peter were both _definitely_ glaring at him now. He took a step back towards his son.

“Reilly, what did you do?” This was clearly father of the year parenting, deflecting this back on a 5-year-old.

“I didn’t do anything!! She was playing with the Vulture figure all wrong! I told her how Hobo Uncle Kaine does it and she got all mad!”

Reilly might as well have just announced he had regular tea parties with the Kingpin. Mary Jane dropped her glass in surprise, and Peter scooped his daughter up into his arms. Ben managed to save the cup before it hit the ground (Thank you, spider reflexes! Didn’t people realize how expensive these things were?!), but couldn’t bring himself to look either of them in the eye. He could already feel the judging without it.

“Kaine?! Are you out of your mind?!” hissed Peter, hugging his daughter tight, as though Kaine was currently hiding in a cabinet, waiting to pop out and grab her at a moment’s notice.

“I thought he was still in jail,” said Mary Jane. Her fists were balled so tightly her knuckles were white. Though it had been five years, she could still vividly remember the way he stalked her. “What was he doing here?”

“Okay, clearly I owe you an explanation, but don’t you both think this is ‘grown-up’ talk?” Ben bit his lip to keep himself from adding: “I promise he won’t steal your daughter while we’re talking.”

“No! I want to know about this hobo. If he’s in jail then he’s a bad man.” said May with a nod, as if that was everything they needed to know about Kaine. Peter and MJ looked inclined to agree.

Reilly spoke up first “Na uh! He’s really nice and he plays superheroes with me and he’s got this crazy hair like this” Reilly put his hands out about 6 inches on either side of his head “that makes him look like a cranky lion.”

His son could see that his uncle and his family weren’t convinced, so he leaned in real close and whispered “And if you can promise to keep a secret—”

Ben immediately didn’t like where this was going.

“Reilly, enough with that—” he began.

Reilly ignored him and continued: “He has a friend that has a _gun_. A real gun!”

“Reilly!” yelled Ben. “That’s enough!”

“What? It’s true! He does, I’ve seen it!”

Ben really needed to have words with Art, but that was after talking the Parkers off a ledge. While May seemed to be warming up to the idea of a cranky lion with a gun, Peter and Mary Jane were already halfway back to Portland in their minds, never to return. They were both too stunned to say anything except what they knew they’d only regret.

Ben held up his hands. “Okay, I can explain...”

“You have 5 seconds.” Ben had never heard Peter so serious in his life.

“Kaineworksforthegovernment.”

That was 5 seconds, right?

“WHAT?!” roared Peter. May immediately clasped her hands over her ears; he was accidentally yelling directly into her ear.

“Daddy, you’re too loud!” She screamed back, as if he couldn’t hear her.

Peter winced and then stroked her hair in apology. “Sorry, Mayday.”

“By the government, you mean...”

“The United States government. Yes. The guy with the gun is Kaine’s handler from the FBI. I didn’t know Reilly had ever seen him with one. We’re going to have words.”

“It was when we first met Hobo Uncle Kaine at the park,” said Reilly helpfully, seemingly oblivious to the tension in the room.

“So Kaine and... his ‘handler’ hang out at children’s playgrounds?” Mary Jane was less than impressed by all of this.

“What? No! He was just walking down the street! _Outside_ the park!”

“It could have been a ruse. You know him,” Peter began.

“You’re right, I do know him. And I can tell you by the expression on his face he was as surprised as I was.” Ben sighed. “Look, he’s not the paragon of humanity, but he’s not as bad as he once was. He’s trying.”

“He tried to frame me for—” Peter stopped when he realized May was still right there. Maybe this was a conversation for the grown-ups, but it was too late now. He didn’t want to let her go. “ _You know_.”

“Technically, he tried to frame _me_ for ‘you know.’ He gave himself up to protect _you_. Or did you forget that part?”

As he crossed his arms, he could see Reilly doing the same out of the corner of his eye. What would Kaine think if he saw this right now? To see Reilly so staunchly defending him? Would he even know how to process that kind of emotion?

“He’s still crazy!” Peter hissed.

“Too loud!” May lightly smacked Peter in the face.

“Sorry.”

“Look, if you want I can give him a call and you can talk to him face-to-face. I’ll call Doreen and she can take the kids.”

“I want to meet him,” said May, with a tone of finality that Ben was all too familiar with from Reilly. “Unless he smells. Then I don’t.”

“I already _told_ you! He doesn’t smell!” yelled Reilly.

“All hobos smell!” May yelled back, with the sagacity only a child can possess. “Because they live outside and don’t take baths.”

“He only _looks_ like a hobo! He has an apartment!” Reilly yelled back with conviction. Then, after a moment, the expression faltered and he looked up at Ben. “He does live in an apartment like us, right dad? Is Uncle Kaine _really_ a hobo?”

“No, Reilly, he’s not really a hobo. He has an apartment.” Where, Ben didn’t know, but Weadon had to stash him somewhere... Right?

Reilly looked triumphantly up at the Parker’s. “See, I told you!”

Throughout the exchange, Mary Jane and Peter had been sharing fleeting glances, as if telepathically trying to figure out what they would do next. Peter rubbed at May’s back while she continued to argue with Reilly about the value of hobos, while Mary Jane groped blindly at the counter behind her for her glass, which Reilly had left there for her after she almost dropped it.

“Look, if you don’t want him in your life, I understand. You don’t need to remind me what he did. I know what he did,” said Ben, glad the kids were temporarily distracted from their conversation. “There are days where I still wake up hating him... but I can’t live like that. Like it or not, Kaine’s one of us, and when you give him a chance you can actually see that. He’s not all angry, crazed yelling anymore.”

Most of the time.

Peter and Mary Jane exchanged one more glance.

“Fine, call him. But if he tries _anything_ —”

“He won’t. I swear.”

It was about a half hour later before Kaine finally arrived. The kids had gone back into the living room to watch a Disney movie and play with LEGOs. The adults, meanwhile, stayed in the kitchen for most of that time, staring at one another in an awkward silence before Mary Jane, and eventually Peter and Ben, went into the living room to watch the movie with May and Reilly.

“For the last time, keep your feet on the ground,” growled a male voice from outside the door.

“Oh come on, I’m just so excited!” came another voice, a young, female voice.

Peter, who had tensed at the sound of Kaine’s voice, arched an eyebrow at the sound of someone else. “Did he bring a girlfriend?” A pause. “ _Kaine _has a girlfriend?!”__

Ben covered his mouth to keep from laughing. “You’re going to regret saying that.”

Reilly had run to the door the moment he heard Kaine’s voice down the hallway and threw it open. Everyone else could now see Kaine, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and leather jacket attempting in vain to pull a young girl with long, black hair and a grin from ear to ear back down to the ground, as the girl was currently hovering about a foot off the floor. Reilly giggled at the sight and threw his arms around Kaine’s leg, as that was as high as he could reach.

“Hobo Uncle Kaine! You brought Miss Aracely! Hi Miss Aracely!”

“Reilly!” Aracely freed herself from Kaine’s grip with ease, and pulled the little redhead into the air and a great big hug, backflipping in the air as she held him tight.

Before Aracely could even put him down, Mayday was in the doorway, arms folded and cheeks puffed out, indignant.

“How come you didn’t say there was a floating girl?! Floating is way cooler than a stinky old hobo!”

“And you’re Mayday!” said Aracely as she put down Reilly and picked up May, who was a lot less mad now that the “floating girl” was paying attention to her. “Kaine said I couldn’t meet you, but he lied. He lies a lot, you know. He says I can’t do things all the time, but then we do it anyway.”

Aracely spun around in the air with May and then put her down. Reilly, sad at being ignored, turned his attention to his uncle, who was still staring at Mayday in slack-jawed silence, taking a step back away from the two of them on instinct. Reilly’s face scrunched into a look of confusion as he tried to figure out what was different...and then it hit him.

“You cut your hair!” yelled Reilly, pointing up at Kaine’s face.

“I...I did,” replied Kaine absently, now looking between May and her parents through the doorway.

“I don’t like it,” said Reilly dryly. He turned around and walked back into the apartment.

May followed right behind, pulling Aracely along like a balloon. Kaine remained where he was, half ready to bolt down the hallway.

“Are you coming in?” asked Ben.

“I...I...” Kaine took another step back. “You didn’t tell me the Parker’s were still here.”

Ben looked between Kaine and Peter. He had hoped that once Kaine had actually got there and the two of them had seen each other, they’d realize how much time had passed and be a little more open to talking to one another. All it had done, it seemed, was make things worse.

Luckily, Aracely spoke up before the tension got too unbearable.

“Kaine thinks you hate him because he used to be a bad man, but he doesn’t know he’s not so bad anymore. You don’t hate him still, do you, Peter?” said Aracely. Her feet finally on the ground and she was looking between the Parker’s with a combination of delight and curiosity. “Oh, you’re Peter. He thinks about you a lot. Do you really hate him?”

All eyes had turned to Peter, who was not liking the attention.

“Okay, who is this and why does she know my name?”

“I’m Aracely. Kaine rescued me, and now I live with him.”

Peter and Mary Jane exchanged looks. They were regretting this already.

“Aracely, for the love of God, can you please come up with an explanation that doesn’t make me sound like a child....” Kaine muttered from the doorway, his eyes landing on the two kids currently swarmed around her. “...snatcher?”

“Speaking of the love of God, will you come _inside _already? One of the neighbors is going to call the cops,” said Ben. Again. Kaine’s scary face had that effect on people. Kaine reluctantly stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He then stood with his back against the door, and though he couldn’t see it, Ben didn’t doubt Kaine’s hand was still on the doorknob, ready for a quick getaway.__

Aracely opened her mouth to say something again, most likely to keep the tension down once more, but Kaine caught the motion and cut her off.

“We met in Houston. She had nowhere else to go, so I brought her to New York for a fresh start. She hasn’t left since.”

“How old is she?” asked Mary Jane, unable to look him in the eye. The feeling was mutual.

“I don’t know. I can’t remember anything before Kaine found me. He thinks I’m 15, but I could be older,” Aracely replied.

“Let me see it,” said Peter abruptly.

Kaine blinked. “What?”

“Your badge. Ben says you work for the government, you must have a badge, right?” said Peter. “I want to see it.”

Ben refused to meet Kaine’s eye when he glared at him.

“That’s supposed to be classified,” said Kaine, then he sighed. “Look, I work for the FBI, but I’m not a federal agent. I don’t carry a badge. All they’ve given me is this wonderful tracking bracelet.”

He pulled up the hem of his jeans to reveal the large, black anklet beneath.

“If you need further confirmation, you can call my handler.”

Peter opened his mouth to say something but closed it when May decided to approach Kaine. He jumped to his feet, but Mary Jane put a hand on his arm to keep him from doing anything rash.

“Reilly said you look like a hobo. You don’t look like a hobo. You look like an ugly model mommy would work with.”

Ben covered his mouth with his hand, but it didn’t hide the snort that came out of him. Mary Jane fought back a smile, but in the end, her parenting instincts took over.

“May Parker, that’s not very nice.”

“But it’s true. I was expecting a hobo. He doesn’t even have a stick.”

“It’s fine, Mrs. Parker,” said Kaine softly. Both Peter and Mary Jane seemed surprised by the tone. Kaine crouched down a bit to look at May. “I’m sorry to disappoint you, child, but I’m just a man with a beard.”

“You know, now that I can see your face, you look like an ugly daddy or Uncle Ben,” said May, clearly not learning her lesson about being rude. “That’s because you’re brothers, right?”

Kaine nodded. “That’s right.”

“Are you a bad man? Mommy and Daddy say you’re a bad man.”

The room fell silent. Even Aracely and Reilly, who were usually dying to talk to anyone about anything, seemed to wait on bated breath to see what Kaine had to say. Kaine looked the little girl in the eye as he struggled to find the right, age-appropriate words.

“I’m... a man who’s made a lot of very, very bad mistakes. Mistakes that you can’t just say sorry for and make it better,” said Kaine, his every word chosen with care. “I am trying to make up for those mistakes by helping people. It doesn’t make the mistakes go away, but something is better than nothing.”

Aracely smiled. “See, Peter, I told you, he’s not as bad as you think he is!” She turned to Kaine and added “Yay, Kaine, you made him hate you less! It’s totally a start.”

“Okay, so does she just say things to make Kaine feel better, or..?” asked Peter, motioning to Aracely.

Mary Jane laughed gently and tugged on Peter’s arm for him to sit back down. “Face it, tiger, she just has you pegged.”

Peter reluctantly sat down, and Kaine finally took a step into the apartment, May at his heels. It wasn’t the happy family reunion Ben had hoped for, but at least it was a start.


End file.
